I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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