i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize