After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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