I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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