I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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