Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize