she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize