I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
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My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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