How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
too bad you live with your parents still
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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