you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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