So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the condom got lost in my hair
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
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wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
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Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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