i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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