8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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