I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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