I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
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He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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