you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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