mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
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Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
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Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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