On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize