Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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