it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize