i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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