My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize