nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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