don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
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If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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