when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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