Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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