grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize