If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
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Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Houston, we have a squirter
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
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I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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