we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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