You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have started to decorate penises.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize