Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize