I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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