When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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