We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize