Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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