And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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