considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
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the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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