I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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