i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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