And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize