Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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