Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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