There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize