I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
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We left an ass print on the piano.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
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I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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