Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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