Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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