um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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