We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
tell me about the eggs
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize