I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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