and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
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Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
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I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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